Maria

Tonight I am thinking back to the bedroom that we shared in our childhood house. The brown and orange papered room, and the giant maple tree that stood outside it. I found such peace and comfort sharing that space with you..so much that when I moved into the bigger room next door, I never quite adjusted. The window air conditioner and the computer both made so much noise they kept me up at night. The air conditioner made a loud mechanical grinding noise as it pushed the air out, while the computer hummed even with the monitor turned off. I eventually thought enough was enough and moved a cot into your room, uninvited. It was a sanity saving mechanism, for me at least. I used to love to go through your closet, you never seemed to mind. I loved looking at your clothes, and books and collection of purses and wallets. I believe I even read your diary from time to time. It was such a sweet experience to hang out in that dim lit space filled with so many luxuries and secrets.

When I was bummed out, I felt it relaxing to watch you sit in front of your vanity mirror that lit up, watching you apply your makeup. You had so many wonderful shades to choose from. It was quite a palette. Your fondness for makeup started back then.

You never made me feel like I was an inferior little sister. Even when I walked home with a note from the school nurse, requiring me to have my hair washed chemically. The lice didn't gross you out as you patiently washed my hair.

How old were we when we lived there? From children to 20 somethings, with five years in between? Sometimes, I still hear our echoes, our laughter. As well as the silences that deepened the air between us.