Jacob Scheier

It is taking the kids a while to fall asleep. Everything else in house is quiet except for their voices... They are making up an elaborate story about my youngest's crush. The eldest is now pretending he is in a spaceship and he is blasting off.

I am thinking about Jacob Scheier's visit and reading on November 26th. The Winner of last year's Governor General Award for poetry. His book is amazing and what is even more amazing is that I knew his mother. She was my professor in university all those years ago and I thought alot of her. Now her son is carrying on her legacy..she would be so proud. -The 26th is also David's birthday..this will be a special day in many ways..David will most likely be going to atleast one of the readings..he is a writer of Haiku. Wow, don't I have a lot of cleaning up to do around here before the exciting upcoming visit. I feel blessed.

Pink Bow

Winter is almost here..but today was such a gorgeous day... My son and husband rode their bikes downtownish to get their haircuts and Ella and I wandered a little closer to home. We stopped and had frozen hot-chocolates..then hit a used bookstore and picked up a few books there. Finally, we proceeded to the Art Centre where we spent time in the Green Room looking at fish in the fish pond and a variety of heavenly plants. Ella looked so pretty in her pink top, frilly pink skirt and furry pink coat to match. Before leaving the house she grabbed a pink bow for her hair so I fastened it to the one side and she looked so lovely. She has been looking so tired lately..hope my little girl is okay. Today was such a nice day that I wish I could do it all over again. When time goes by this fast it feels like stolen moments.

Almost winter

For a few brief moments I looked outside my family room windown this evening, and saw a sea of leaves scattered over the beds that I had so lovingly tended to this spring and summer. I don't think I will pluck the dead impatients from their beds but rather leave them alone to eventually become the dried earth under snow.

If felt strange to look at the bird bath that was frequently visited by birds and squirrels and to now see it vacant of visitors. But to see handfuls of leaves in its flower shaped stone bowl. Even the picnic table that David tiled this summer is buried under a mess of leaves.

I really dislike the winter. The stores are already filled with winter clothes, and Christmas merchandise. I wish I lived in a place where it was spring or summer constantly. I am not one who really appreciates or needs the change of seasons. Though I do enjoy the rites of spring. The first buds, the thawed earth. The first hint of green and new life. Summer is also a celebration of sun and warmth, and flowers, and herbs, and fruits and vegetables. And winter is time of slumber, only its short days make me feel as though I too should be hibernating..sleeping the days of winter away. And finally waking up in the spring.

H1N1

What a scary and exhausting couple of weeks it has been. My husband, son and I have been home with suspected cases of H1N1. We seem to now be on the mend but I am almost afraid to speak so soon. It has so far managed to skip our daughter and I hope that this is the situation and that she will not become sick. I have barely left the house at all except for going to work the last couple of nights. I finally returned to work on Tuesday after days of being bedbound with cough and fever. David is also back to work, and our son will hopefully be returning to school next week.

I have cabin fever and have forgotten what fall looks like, feels like and smells like. The only thing I have noticed so far is the mountain of leaves I'm going to have to rake when my energy returns. Hopefully soon Ross will feel well enough to venture outside with his sister and the two of them can play in the leaves.

I have had a crazy mirage of dreams the last few nights. More so with the fever. I believe I had deliriously happy dreams with the fever and now that I am without it, my dreams have been growing increasinlgy frightening.

I have a mess to clean, to sort through before going to sleep. I can hear my daughter annimatedly talking to herself. My son on the other hand, is quietly absorbed in something.

The destruction of our tree

It is night and my glands are sore, I feel feverish and I have a cough. I can hear my kids watching t.v. behind the thin wall that separates my bedroom from the family room. I am sitting up on the bed, over the burgundy fleecy blanket that belonged to my father..I think soon I will drape my shivering body in it. David is next to me working away on the lovely turn-of-the-century table we bought from a local antique store that was closing shop.

My mind is swirling right now. I am thinking of the tree that stood infront of our house since its construction in the 1940s, if not before. Yesterday it was chopped down and even though it was a relief in important ways because it would no longer threaten our safety..I thought of the home it had been for its animals. Yesterday, birds and squirrels were furiously knocking on our windows, as if to tell us how upset they were by the destruction of their home. Today, a low stump is all that remains.

Today was cold, all day. I sat in the waiting area, waiting for Ella to finish her ballet class. I went home, and immediately climbed under the covers where I have spent most of the day. I am exhausted, my thoughts are slowly fading into the darkness that seeps its way in at night.

Fall

This week Ross started grade 3..it has been a good week for him. He seems to like his new teacher and is busy making new friends. Ella started Junior Kindergarten and today was her first full day. I am so accustomed to always having her there that it actually made me feel quite miserable to not hear her laughter, or her walking or skipping around the house, or her talking to herself. I went grocery shopping, then I watered the garden and put some laundry away. I put her ballet clothes away for her so that I'll know where to find them for her ballet class. I hope she'll still be interested in ballet this year because she really is quite graceful.

Lately Ella has been liking the sound that the crunchy leaves make under her feet. Normally I dread fall because it is making way for winter, but today she made the sound of fall leaves sound like music.

I wish i could sign up my very talented son for drama lessons. He loved the theatre camp this summer and I thought he would enjoy a similar outlet this fall. But he seems exhausted and it wouldn't be right to push him.

Fall

I am in my garden looking at the great bunches of red impatients all around me. By the swing, on both sides, they have swollen into 2 gorgeous mounds. And under the Juniper tree as well, a great red slope of flowers. The leaves have started to fall. The flowers on the hostas are no longer
fragrant and my lilies of the valley have dried up. My roses however, are still busy making blooms on their thin red branches. The white ones smell like the Italian body talc that my mother used to powder me with after a bath. The sunset tinged ones smell of jasmine.

I am watching Ross in his playfort. He decided he wanted a tree fort so he pruned back our cedar tree, and it's cut branches now adorn the wood spindles of his fort. Ella is spending time talking to her imaginary daughter. She has 4, and this one by far, is her favourite. She hasnt' said that she is her favourite, but her actions speak louder than her words. At this moment she is pretending to buckle her into her silver toy car. Apparently it is Urella's birthday today so she gave her a present, and now apparently her daughter is sharing her toys with her little mommy. So as I write, Ella is now walking around the car with a purple haired doll in her hands talking animatedly.

Ross is looking like an English gentleman with his navy shirt tucked under his wool vest. He even sports a tie most days. I wish I could send him to a private school because he'd love the whole uniform thing. But we don't have the money to send him to that kind of school

Ella looks like a little fairy, with longish wavy hair, a pale yellow dress, big blue eyes on a small face. Her rainboots kind of detract from this picture, but she put on the first things she could find to go outside.

Ross just found a sleepy worm by our garden box, so he moved it into the back garden so it won't be stepped on. He seems to love insects of any kind. He found a large creepy looking bug on the bike path the other day, and he picked it up lovingly to examine it. Then he tried to find a safe place for it under the trees. Bees, and hornets don't frighten him. It looks as is he was bitten on his face but hasn't said anything about it.

He loves bumblebees like the rest of us. Their quiet, unassuming ways.

I want to remember this moment. I wish all moments were like this. With children, in shorts, watching fall's first blush on leaves and seedum. I dislike the winter..wearing heavy coats and layers, boots, hats. Having to face cold, icy, snowy days.